I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while. It’s definitely true that the discomfort of labor and delivery comes and goes and the days right after that with a newborn in tow were both the hardest and most triumphant days of my life. Running a marathon is the closest thing I have done to caring for a newborn and that doesn’t even come close to the exhaustion and elation that goes with becoming a parent.
There is nothing like become a new mom… from the physical recovery and still new symptoms that accompany that to the biggest feeling of unconditional love I have ever known. I cried every.single.day for several days, usually tears of utter happiness when I looked into my newborn’s eyes, but sometimes from being overwhelmed, scared, or just tired.
The other day, I was thinking back to those first weeks and honestly almost felt a little sad they were over. Aiden is at a great age right now. We are having so much fun smiling, talking and rolling over now that made me realize how much those first weeks are worth it. I do know that I don’t want to forget the trying times we had at the beginning though.
I don’t want to forget how bad my boobs hurt at the beginning and how scary breastfeeding was because then it wouldn’t make our nursing sessions now as special. We have gotten the swing of it pretty well now and I attribute that to the trials and tribulations in the beginning. I wouldn’t have appreciated how far we’ve come had the beginning been easy.
I don’t want to forget that when we brought him home I wouldn’t even turn the lamp light off when we slept because I was too terrified. David and I were scared of SIDS so we used the Halo sleepsack swaddle and were constantly checking to make sure it wasn’t near his mouth so he wouldn’t suffocate. Each time he would wake up, I would have to completely unwrap that thing, feed him, change him and then go on the floor to wrap him back up because that’s the position I could get it tightest for him. I would then have to put him back to sleep. Sometimes this process would take two hours in the middle of the night and then it would be time to feed him again. I honestly forgot about all these nights until I really thought about it the other day.
I don’t want to forget that I used to have to set my alarm to make sure I woke up to feed him in the first two weeks. I had to set my alarm the other day and in my settings I saw the times… 12:26 am, 2:43 am, 4:51 am. I am happy not to have to do that anymore and we sleep better than that, but that’s the induction into the mom’s world.
I don’t want to forget that he was so hard to put to sleep that I couldn’t even do it and David would do it so that I could get a jumpstart on the night and go to bed earlier. I remember the night that the Boston bombers were caught we watched the entire police chase because we were up for 4 hours in the middle of the night rocking in the living room. We got some good bonding in that night.
I don’t want to forget the evil 5th and 8th week due to the wonder weeks. These were really difficult weeks for me with getting Aiden to sleep. He just refused! There were no naps to be seen, crying during the day, tummy aches, and sleepless night. The other day, I called another new mom in the midst of the 5th week and she just started crying. It brought me back to that week and I had total empathy! I promise they do end and on the other side is a happy, smily baby. There’s nothing like watching your baby smile at you. It will melt your heart every time!
When you’re in the midst of those beginning weeks, its really hard to see past them and realize that they do not last forever. But… take it from me, they don’t last forever. My little man is much bigger now and I can barely even remember him being an 8 lb. baby!
There is the good, the bad, and the ugly of those first weeks. They do end and you’ll likely look back with a little of sorrow that they are gone and ask yourself…”where did the time go?”