As I mentioned in this post, David and I attended a series of three Love and Logic parenting classes. We decided that it would be better to get on the same page now concerning discipline rather than waiting until we had the terrible twos to deal with.
This way of parenting is neither a helicopter parent nor a militant-type parent; it’s in between the both.
There are four basic principles of love and logic parenting.
1. Build the self-concept. The formula for a high self-concept is from parents who:
- Offer empathy, understanding, and unconditional love
- Allow their children to struggle and solve their own problems
- Encourage children to learn and succeed through personal thinking and learning
2. Share the control. If you share the control on insignificant matters, kids think they are in control and then in bigger situations, parents have less battles.
- Many parents set few limits when their kids are toddlers. They attempt to enforce them later when their children are adolescents. By that time, it’s too late.
3. Provide a strong dose of empathy before delivering the consequences. This suggests that you (the parent) is not the “bad” guy and there is no need to fight you. The consequences are therefore on the child for making the decision to misbehave. You must actually mean the empathy.
- Every time we use empathy, our kids’ reasoning brains turn on. Every time we deliver threats or anger, their reasoning brains turn off. Empathy opens the mind to learning.
4. Share the thinking. Every time your kids cause a problem or make a mistake, allow them to think more about the solution than you do.
I really like these principles and hope they do, in fact, make parenting easier and help Aiden grow into a responsible citizen of society. This method preaches that you want kids to make these “affordable mistakes” when they are little, so they learn and won’t make pricier mistakes later in life.
In the classes we took, we watches a series of videos that the creators of Love and Logic produced. They explained in detail different tactics to deal with misbehavior and provided several examples of how to use them. Aiden is really little for us to be using any of the techniques, but we are starting to turn his brain onto this theory. For example, when they do something they aren’t supposed to be doing, you say “uh oh” and then there is a series of events to proceed this resulting in them spending time in their rooms. For Aiden, we just say “uh oh” when he touches cords or power outlets to get him to understand that when we say that, it means stop.
We’ll see how it all unfolds, but for now we are excited as the prospect of Love and Logic. Our teacher, Elizabeth Petrucelli, has a 10 year old son that she has implemented many of these techniques on and she praises this method.
If you’re looking for any information on parenting, I suggest Love and Logic. There is also a book for teachers to use in their classrooms. Love and Logic is based out of Colorado, but there are seminars, classes and the book widely available. This method of parenting grows with the child – there is a book on teenagers too!
Have you ever taken any parenting classes?
What do you think of Love and Logic?