I’m sitting here a little nostalgic about the fact that I have realized I no longer have a baby – Aiden is a toddler. I don’t know why but on his first birthday it didn’t really hit me that we’ve had him for a year. It has hit me, however, now that this is Aiden’s second summer.
I think back to last summer at how little he was and how much I was just in survival mode and realize I was in pure bliss. I know it was hard, I have mommy-amnesia and I struggled at times, but I also remember laying blankets out at parks or playdates and catching up with some of my new mom-friends while the babies laid there and cooed.
I am also thinking back to all the times I was unsure about things and questioned if what I was doing was right. I remember wondering about breastfeeding, naps, nighttime sleep, starting solids, getting Aiden adequate stimulation, and the list goes on (and on). I have realized that even the darkest nights turn into a new day and the struggles turn into triumphs. This principle goes well beyond parenting.
All these parenting stressors have come and gone. I didn’t think I would ever make it to a year breastfeeding and as I’m sitting here, I’m hoping that we can breastfeed for 2 years. I never thought I would get Aiden into his crib and he’s been in there for 10 months all by himself. I never thought he would take regular naps and he’s proven to me that he’s just like all toddlers that take afternoon naps. I didn’t think he would ever sleep through the night and while, I’m not positive our sleep troubles are over, I’m happy to report that for the past week he’s only gotten up 1-2 times.
I’ve been worried about how and when I’m supposed to wean Aiden from breastfeeding and how hard it’s going to be, but just now, I’ve realized that I don’t have to do it right now. As with all things, the season will change and we’ll just go from there. I have decided that I will savor every last minute of it, not feel guilty about it and realize that it will end – just like everything else.
I hope to come back to this post when things get hard, I question myself and I start to feel defeated.